• honestlyimanijai

growing up

Imani here!

I am almost a full month into my senior year, and it is such a bizarre feeling to think that I started on this journey four years ago. It is hard to process that this portion of my life is coming to an end.

I can be honest and say that I am scared as shit. I am scared about life-- what awaits for me after undergrad; grad school applications and acceptances, being on my own, college debt, and more than anything I am afraid of the thought that even though four years have passed and I have grown, there are times that I still feel like little, 18-year-old Imani. Imani, that came on to campus, anxious, still unsure of herself, her womanhood, and of her voice.

But as for this year, I am trying something new. I am challenging myself to be present and patient. I'm trying to give myself space-- space to be grateful for what has come to me and what is to come. I look back to who I was and see how much I have evolved, all the things I've learned (and unlearned), and I am grateful that I can say I am growing up. I realize I was hung up on things that I have done and left fearful when I thought about what may be lying ahead. It is easy for anyone to do-- to look at where you are at and focus so much on what the future may have in-store, you are swallowed up by it.

For the women that are in my shoes, you are almost there. Whether your journey maybe school, work, internship, a project you're working on, etc.-- you have overcome, have accomplished so much! You have conquered spaces that were not intended for you to succeed, and you did it with grace. Give yourself credit! It is okay if you don't know what is coming for you. You have crossed those valleys, and you will do it again!

I believe there is freedom in saying you are afraid and not "fakin' the funk" of having it all together. It's something about confronting that fear that is helping me try and tackle it. I had to realize that the truth is none of us have a total grip on becoming adults. This is not one battle that only you or I am dealing with in solitude. We are all scared and trying to figure this mess out. Being in your twenties doesn't mean, have it all figured out. But for now, look at where you are. Who you are becoming. What you are accomplishing NOW. It is beautiful.


Imani Jai

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